When you hear the word “sand,” what comes to mind? For some, it’s the tiny grain that can jam the gears of a well-oiled machine. For others, it’s the beginning of something beautiful—a pearl. At Pearlside, we choose to see the pearl.
Why? Because we believe in the transformative power of perspective. Just as an oyster turns a grain of sand into a valuable gem, we help design and build sustainable and high-impact teams and organizations. These organizations are not just efficient; they are places where people are highly satisfied and engaged. They are environments where individuals can turn challenges into opportunities, much like an oyster transforms a grain of sand into a pearl.
The Anagram of Leadership
You might have noticed that “Pearlside” is an anagram of “leadership”—well, almost. While it’s not a perfect match, it’s close enough to make you think. And that’s intentional. At Pearlside, we don’t chase after perfection; we embrace the beauty of imperfection. We accept failure as a stepping stone towards success and view it as an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow.
The Iterative Journey
In today’s rapidly evolving landscape, clinging to outdated models of leadership is not just ineffective; it’s detrimental. That’s why we’re committed to redefining the concept of leadership to make it more inclusive, sustainable, and impactful for the modern world.
We understand that this is a journey, not a destination. It’s an iterative process that requires ongoing learning and growth. We are collectively committed to this journey, not just for ourselves but for everyone around us. Through practical experience and hands-on opportunities, we aim to facilitate growth for individuals and organizations alike.
The Ultimate Goal
Our ultimate goal is to transform the way leadership is understood and practiced. We want to create a world where leadership is not about authority but about empowering others, not about individual achievements, but about collective impact; not about maintaining the status quo, but about driving meaningful change.
Conclusion
So, the next time you find yourself faced with a grain of sand—a challenge or obstacle—remember that it’s all a matter of perspective. Will you let it jam your gears, or will you transform it into a pearl? At Pearlside, we’re in the business of creating pearls. And we invite you to join us on this transformative journey.
Some leadership conversations stay with you because they don’t add more techniques. They change your attention.
That’s what happened for me with Ali Schultz, co-founder of Reboot.io. Reboot has been around for ten years now, and their work has influenced an entire generation of founders and leadership teams. But what struck me most is not a new framework. It’s a stance.
Better humans make better leaders. Better leaders create more humane organizations.
It sounds simple. It is not simplistic.
Reboot’s bet: leadership is personal work
Ali described Reboot as a platform for leadership coaching and organizational development that goes beyond skill-building. Not because skills don’t matter, but because skills are not the full story.
When someone steps into leadership, something predictable happens. Responsibilities increase. Visibility increases. Pressure increases. And we meet ourselves, fast.
Self-doubt. Imposter syndrome. Old patterns. Defensive reactions. The need to control. The need to please. The reflex to perform instead of relate.
Emerging leadership is not only about learning what to do. It’s about learning who you are while doing it.
Ali offered a simple equation that captures Reboot’s philosophy:
I like this because it holds the tension. Not one or the other. Both.
A company built on diversity, not a single method
One of the early challenges Reboot faced was building a brand bigger than its founders. Ali shared how intentional they were about not building a company around one personality, one coach, or one method.
Instead, they built what Jerry Colonna calls a “wildflowers” approach. Biodiversity in coaching. Different styles. Different life experiences. Different ways of being with people.
It matters because coaching is not about fitting humans into a method. It’s about meeting humans where they are.
This also resonates with how organizations grow. Diversity is not just a value statement. It’s a design choice.
A small shift that changes everything: make space for the humans in the room
Ali shared something that I’ve experienced myself.
When you’re action-oriented, when you want to “not waste anyone’s time,” you can rush into agenda and execution. It feels efficient. It often isn’t.
Sometimes, the fastest way to move is to slow down enough to see what’s actually present.
A few minutes of human check-in changes the quality of the entire meeting. It reduces hidden friction. It surfaces what needs to be named. It creates conditions for real alignment.
This is not soft. It’s operationally sound.
Hiring in startups: the Sunday test, and the reality of stages
We also talked about what Ali looks for when building teams, especially in startups.
People who can create something from nothing. People who can execute and keep the bigger picture in mind. People whose heart is in it.
And one heuristic I’ll remember: the Sunday test.
Would you choose to spend time with this person on a non-work day?
It’s not a perfect filter. But it points to something important. Work is a human place. Toxicity does not scale. Neither does charm without integrity.
Ali also named something that more founders should normalize: not everyone scales with the organization, and that’s okay.
Some people thrive in the earliest stages. Some people want clarity and structure. Some people love the chaos. Some people don’t. The healthiest organizations design for transitions, rather than treating them as failures.
What horses, art, and ecology have to do with leadership
Ali’s personal influences were not what you’d expect from a standard leadership conversation: deep ecology, art, and horses.
Yet it makes perfect sense.
Leadership is a relationship practice. Presence matters. Authenticity matters. Power-with matters.
Horses, Ali said, don’t accept anything except the most grounded, most honest version of you. They offer immediate feedback. If you’re off, they know. If you’re performing, they feel it.
That’s leadership training, in a very direct form.
The next five to ten years: more human, not less
We ended with a question that’s hard to avoid right now: how will leadership coaching evolve with AI?
Ali’s answer was clear: work will remain human. Leadership will remain relational. If anything, the need for leadership development will become more important, not less.
AI may change tasks. It won’t remove the human complexity of trust, conflict, fear, meaning, belonging, and responsibility.
If we gain time, the question becomes what we do with it.
My hope is the same as Ali’s: that leadership and organizational development become even more human.
References
Reboot.io, where you can find the resources and the newsletter
Reunion by Jerry Colonna (the book mentioned by Ali that was launching the day after we recorded)
Here is the transcript of the episode
Alexis: [00:00:00] Welcome to Le Podcast on Emerging Leadership. I’m Alexis Monville. And today, I’m honored to have Alison Schultz with us, the co founder of Reboot. io, an organization that’s been in reshaping the landscape of leadership coaching and organizational development. This year marks a significant milestone for Reboot. io as they celebrate their 10th anniversary. A decade of empowering leaders and team across various industries. So, without further ado, let’s welcome Alison Shultz to the podcast on emerging leadership.
Hey Ali. How do you introduce yourself to someone you just met?
Ali: Well, I guess I would say,
Hi, I’m Ali. I’m one of the co-founders of Reboot. How are you?
Alexis: That’s nice, that’s direct.
Ali: Yeah,
Alexis: could you walk us through the inception of reboot.
Ali: Yeah, so Jerry and I met in 2013[00:01:00] and we began doing the CEO bootcamps together. we did three bootcamps, including one in Italy, which is not too far from you. Before we formed Reboot with our partner Dan Putt the bootcamps proved that our instincts were right and that we were onto something. And so Reboot really came out of a vision to create a coaching and leadership development platform that would support people not only in better leadership, but also the work in the work that it takes to become a better human.
Alexis: I think that’s the part I’m very impressed with in all your communications with Reboot. there’s sometimes when you look at leadership or leadership development, there’s that kind of thing that are really technical. I. that seems to forget that behind all those skills, all those things that we learned to do there’s a human being and that’s probably something really important.
And I feel
that you are really touching regularly very well. So that, [00:02:00] that’s something I really appreciate.
Ali: Hmm. Thank you.
Alexis: what, what were some of the initial challenges you faced and how did you overcome them?
Ali: Yeah, so this is a great question. We had to build a brand for the company that was bigger than Jerry. So we had to build something that went beyond just Jerry Colonna. And by the end of our first year we had that, which was pretty cool to see. People were searching for reboot, they weren’t just searching for Jerry Colonna. And, you know, in the process of building that brand, we, we took advantage of Jerry’s notoriety and his reach and the work that he had been doing in the space for over a decade at that point. And we carefully crafted a brand and a voice that could stand on its own. I would say another thing that. We wanted to do, which kind of relates to that, is we wanted to build a company that was built, that wasn’t built around just one coach, one personality, or one method. We [00:03:00] wanted to bring together a team of coaches that were distinct and unique in their experiences and in their styles to better serve our clients. And internally, Jerry kind of refers to this as like wild flowers and, as a, I don’t know. I have a biology minor going decades back when I was in college. But if you know anything about biodiversity, there’s a strength, there’s an inherent strength in that. And so it, it serves our clients better when our coaches are unique so people can come to reboot and really get fit with a coach Just within our, our herd of coaches, I say lovingly
it’s kind of cool because you have a variety of, of humans that can meet the variety of humans that come to us for, for help and support. But it’s also like, I mean, can you imagine going to a therapist or a coach or, that just tries to fit you into their style or their method without really meeting you where you are as a human.
It just [00:04:00] like, it doesn’t match. So we wanted to create something that was really I don’t know, just a unique coaching experience that was in service to, you know, anyone that would come to us for, for help.
Alexis: This is, this is very, very interesting. And a quick question about the, the brand. Does Jerry’s book reboot was already out when you, when you created the brand?
Ali: No no. We started in 2014, so we started reboot in 2014. So we were doing this before Jerry’s first book came out. And his book came out in 20 17, 16 or 17, I believe. Maybe it was 2017. Maybe it was 2018. but it was much, you know, it was further down the line. So we had already had a brand and a larger platform established. the book came out and it had a place to be. It was kind of cool.
Alexis: Yeah, it’s very[00:05:00] very tempting to use , Jerry’s notoriaty and the work he did in the past and say, okay, that’s the one method we will propose. And I really like what you’re saying now. No, that’s not what we are doing. We are not like this. We are uniquely different and Yeah.
you, you can find a good match for you at the right time for you.
I really like that that approach.
you will celebrate the 10 years anniversary of of reboot io. what are the significant milestone that stand out for you?
Ali: Yeah. Man, I’ve got a, I’ve got a couple handfuls I, I jotted down so. Things. I think pulling off our first bootcamp was a big deal. And then I lost count after 25 bootcamps. So that. I mean, that, that’s a significant thing to successfully produce that many events, you know year after year. [00:06:00] And I would say another really big memorable event was getting the reboot podcast out and shipped. And that happened, that, that happened pretty quick. I remember it was probably September and three months of, of 2014, so it was three months since we had started. And, and we had the podcast out. it was really cool to, like Dan and I had been working on it, and Dan probably more so at that point. but it was cool to have Jerry listen to it for the first time and you know, to see his reaction. So that was really special. And then after that we just kept together products and services that were really , on our roadmap and that we had wanted to kind of put out in the world, including our, our peer groups, our circles we had put together a 360, review process for clients. So a lot of services that were really in support [00:07:00] of, one-on-one coaching, but it expanded and complimented just the one-on-one coaching work. Internally we had produced some really fun things too for our clients, mainly ’cause they were like educational, but we had a, a chatbook of poetry that we would use at events. we had made a branded journal. So it was cool to have kind of some tangible takeaways that we could, would give, you know, reboot clients in our work with them. And then of course, like Jerry’s first book Jerry’s second book, which is coming out soon. Tomorrow actually it launches it’s, I don’t know, in 10 years. That feels like a lot. I mean, on top of what, what I think is also kind of celebratory for us, and maybe for me, ’cause I hold this seat a little bit more than some of my colleagues ’cause I’m, I’ve just been the one kind of defaulted to being the brand voice.
You know, the [00:08:00] amount of content that we consistently put out into the world for free, because we know that, you know, not everybody can afford our coaching rates, but everyone should have access to frameworks or ways of thinking or questions for reflection that can help them become a better leader if they’re interested in this work. it’s nice to be able to provide such a rich At this point, library of resources for folks to kind of come to our site and mainline our content and kind of get a taste for what we’re about. and then, you know, maybe at some point know, if their comfort company sponsors them or budgets are such that it allows for it, they, they end up working for us.
But none of that’s like a requirement. we really put, a lot of good content out in the world as a Service to the entrepreneurial community and, and the emergent leaders, you know, to use your language, the emergent leaders that are there because they need support. You know, they need to recognize, you know, what are the practical skills that I need [00:09:00] and what’s the radical self-inquiry piece that I need?
Like, what are, what’s the inner reflection piece that I need to, to bring into this leadership space? And then what are the shared experiences, right? And so how can they then Find their people or their communities or their support or places for support, you know, in order to give them greater resiliency and enhance their leadership.
Alexis: Yeah, that’s beautiful. and among all the resources you are exposing to the world. I, I really like the, the journaling prompt.,
Ali: yes.
Alexis: so, that’s so simple and that’s so helpful to help people start with journaling , and usually there’s the, some people tell, told me, but I don’t know what to write.
I’ve said, all write what? What’s on your mind? And so I said, no, I’m, I’m stuck. I am, I cannot write anything I said. Okay. That’s a, that’s a good one. Let’s start with some prompts. And when I discovered your journaling prompt, I say, oh yeah, that’s, that’s really cool.
Ali: I’m glad [00:10:00] you think so. I think so as well. It’s it’s a, a, a really beautiful practice to, I mean, journaling takes work, you know, and it’s personal for everybody. There’s no right way or wrong way to do it. It just has to support you, you know? That’s why people do it. And so, Margaret and I, Margaret, who’s my, like partner in content creation and she’s the brilliant editor to our, our podcast we sat down and I was like, we have enough journaling prompts from all the content we’ve put out in the world and from all the events that we have done where we could just do an email Course, even though it’s zero cost, but like, sign up, get a daily email in your inbox. you know, the questions that we pulled together are very rebooting. And they’re very applicable to anyone in leadership, like anyone in leadership or management, or even people who don’t think of themselves as CEOs or founders or anything. They can be really handy. Just in terms of helping someone to establish a journal practice or, [00:11:00] giving them like that external prompt so that they can sit down and, and do some self-reflection.
So it’s such an important piece, I think, of being an, being a leader. I’m really delighted that, that we re release that this year.
Alexis: Over those, 10 years, how has your role evolved within the company?
Ali: Oh yeah. yeah. It’s, I feel like I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, been around done a lot I started in ops primarily, so I was like, you know, making sure that the trains ran on time and taking care of a lot of the internal structure, really the business structure of, of what are we doing and really leading the, the marketing and content efforts.
And I mean, we’ve been very lucky as a company that because of kind of like Jerry’s notoriety and whatnot. The, the PR efforts and the traditional marketing efforts, we really didn’t need so much of, but, you know, we could be really creative I don’t know, kind of like specific [00:12:00] with the content we put out.
And so I I really leaned in there and after five years, we came to a, a moment in the company where we were no longer a loose consultancy of, of coaches which is kind of what we began as, as we, we, as we tried the experiment of, you know, what is, what is this company and what does it need to be? we, we began employing our coaches. And so that was a, just a slight shift in the business model. Not too bad, but it was at that point that I handed over the operational reigns to just a, a small ops team within the org and I just stepped into coaching full-time. So it was a, it was a big shift, but it was also welcomed, so.
Alexis: Yeah, that’s a, that’s a big one. But yeah, that’s probably very satisfying to have built something, build a team that can run on, on its own and enables you to, to do something that has a different kind of impact. That’s a, that’s [00:13:00] interesting.
Ali: Yeah. Yeah.
Alexis: So. Emerging leadership mean to you, and how does it align with the mission of reboot?
Ali: Yeah, this was another really great question. I mean, we believe that better humans make better leaders and better leaders create more humane organizations. And we love working with the, with emerging leaders because we can instill in them during those emergent years, like the, the soft skills that are so important.
And we can also stress the importance of doing the radical self-inquiry work alongside the practical skills, right? But it’s a way to really support what’s emerging in each individual as they’re stepping into their leadership. you know, anyone who takes a leadership role that has not done that before is gonna run up into a ho, run up against a host of, of issues including [00:14:00] self-doubt, imposter syndrome all these things that really stem from who am I and what am I bringing into this role. But it also kind of stems from, I’ve never done this before, and what do I need to know to do the job? I kind of feel like, I mean, I kind of hinted or spoke to our formula before, but kind of the formula or the bet that we, that we take at reboot is that practical skills plus radical self-inquiry plus shared experiences equal greater resiliency and enhanced leadership.
Or it might be enhanced resiliency and greater leadership, whatever, but but it really fits that emerging leadership sensibility where You know, I don’t know. When I think about emerging leaders, there’s something emerging. It’s emerging in you. It’s emerging from a need in the world. It’s emerging from a need in the organization.
And how are you gonna meet that? How are you gonna a, listen to what’s showing up? Listen for what’s showing up. How can you be attuned to that? And how can you meet that need [00:15:00] or meet what’s emerging and be agile about it.
Alexis: I love it. So thanks for, for sharing. Can you share with us an example of a time when your leadership skills were put to.
Ali: Yeah. When I, when I operate, I’m really, I don’t know that tactical is the word, but transactional. Like when I go into, Get shit done. I go in to just get shit done. Like that’s, I assume, like that’s why we’re here. So I think it took a while for me to really, pause or trust that holding space for everything else that’s in the room is actually gonna get things done more smoothly and potentially more quickly.
Right, because you’re not just meeting with people who are always ready to go tracking the same agenda items that [00:16:00] you are seeing everything the way that you wanna see them. and so, yeah, I would say learning the, to just kinda sit back Not drive so much with the get shit done mentality but to really create enough space for the humans in the room and kind of meet and be able to meet that humanity, right?
Like personal check-ins how are we doing, how are we feeling about these things? And then go moving into what may be the agenda items, but it’s, it’s, it’s more like realizing. What are the other issues that aren’t maybe so tactical or get shit done oriented that are also in the room that need to be unpacked and talked about? And I think for early leaders, and I don’t know a lot of clients that I work with too, it’s like learning that, shift can be really impactful. And it’s hard I think during early startup days when everybody’s kind of doing everything and there’s an [00:17:00] urgency to just like Get everything done as fast as possible. Cause it feels like there is no time to pause or to take, take things slow or to, to ask big questions. I guess my invitation is, and my learning was, you to create the space for, for that way of being, with the to-do list. It, it’s, it’s more powerful in the long run.
Alexis: Hmm. Yeah, it’s a thank you for sharing that because I, I believe it’ll help a lot of people to, to think and reflect about it. I have the, the, the tendency also to, to look at the time we have, we have allocated to do something and to say, okay, I don’t want to waste the time of anybody, so let’s, let’s get to it immediately.
that’s, that’s kind of that urge that is there. And it’s hard to pause, so it’s a, it’s very, very helpful to say Yeah. But, Make enough space for the human being in the role. [00:18:00] And that’s, yeah, very powerful. I love it. If we look at the startup environment, what are, what are some key qualities you look for when you, when you are building a team?
Ali: Yeah. Key qualities I think, I think there’s. There’s a lot of power in finding people that are good people. Like you just really want good people. But I mean, as far as qualities a willingness to dive in and face problems, that’s key. And I think a willingness to be a little bit obsessed and dedicated also goes a long way at first, especially when teams are small and new and there’s a lot of exciting stuff happening. I mean, I say that in the sense that. The obsession or the dedication can help people, can really help the focus [00:19:00] and the, the small team cohesion a little bit. Yet that certainly doesn’t scale. mean it can, but it needs to be named, it needs to be checked in on and it needs to be maintained in a healthy way. you want people that are engaged in the work like they wanna be there. They’re eager to solve these problems. They’re eager to show up every day and solve these problems, and they get a little bit of aliveness out of it. I mean, you want people that really wanna be there. Cause you’re gonna get so much more out of not just the team. there’s no sense. I mean, it’s just hard to work with people who their heart isn’t in it. I don’t know. I think Someone who’s willing to kind of put their heart into it a little bit is, makes things kind of fun at the beginning. You also need a balance of like contextual thinking and execution, especially at first, because at first you have, I mean, I’m thinking of like startup teams of like maybe five to 10 people or five to 15 people, but. At that stage, [00:20:00] everybody’s kind of doing everything and it’s, it’s a little bit like, you know, a kindergarten soccer team where everybody’s on the field and not everybody has a defined role, but you know, you’re on the same team and you’re kind of playing certain parts of the, of the field, but but you’re also getting coffee and taking up the trash and doing all those other things.
So it’s such a mixed bag of an experience early on. And then of course, as at, at as things grow and roles scale and the company scales and roles get defined, then there’s more clear parameters and more clarity and more expectation around what your key role on the team or on the field is.
You know? I think you need people who are able to, kind of going along the execution line. It’s really great to have people that can execute, but you also need people who can create something from nothing, you know, because in a lot of startup spaces, there’s, I mean, that’s art really is to be, to create something from nothing, right? [00:21:00] But so many of the problems that get funded and companies are built around, like they didn’t exist. You know, before funding it was like, I have this idea, let’s do this. And so you need someone who can really see the whole picture of where this is going. And also also be able to know, okay, this is my role execution wise in the org and this is how I can contribute to this. And a lot of this is kind of set too, I think with leadership parameters, you know, like your leader’s gonna, a good leader will help you know, the team see these things. But honestly, I’d say when it comes to hiring people there is no sociopath filter. However, I know after working with a lot of clients that sociopaths exist. you have to trust your gut when hiring. And you have to be quick to really Get toxic people, I think, off the team. But one of the [00:22:00] ways to really test for this, it’s not foolproof because there are some really charming and toxic people that can just be in the world and then wreak havoc in your organization. But we always say, you know, the Sunday test. Here at Reboot, and that is, would you want to hang out with this person by choice on a Sunday? Like it’s a non-work day? You don’t have to be in their presence and yet you would, you would choose to hang out with them on some relaxing non-work activity. someone passes the Sunday test, that’s a pretty substantial thing. And you can tell a lot too about people And how they make you feel meeting in person, you know? So like when you’re hiring, really pay attention. How does this person make me feel? Are there any red flags? Are there any like suspicions or feelings that come up? I’m with this person that I either wanna get clarity around and lean in and [00:23:00] ask them about and or does it remind me of anything else in my life that with a red flag for another relationship that may have headed south. Those are just, they’re signals to pay attention to, I would say. it’s, there’s a lot of magic at the start of startup And then, you know, as teams scale, I think it’s key to also know that, not everybody scales with the organization and so, so turnover is like, natural turnover in many ways can be celebrated. Like, oh, we have reached this point in our organization where we need to bring in like a CFO, not just a director of finance or we need to bring in, A really like a main leader, not just someone who’s grown up and kind of fulfilled some, territory in the organization, like with marketing or, or some part of the org. And so, I mean, that can be really hard, you know, especially as teams grow because you get attached to people. But there’s ways to also build it into culture [00:24:00] and say, you know, we’re bringing you in. We know this might be. A short term thing, but we want this to be the best place that you’ve worked and you know, we’re gonna celebrate what’s here. And, you know, whatever tenure anyone does have, So I guess a lot of this is like, there are qualities that you want in your team, right? But not all those qualities, not all the people will necessarily scale with your org.
Alexis: Yeah.
Ali: And what are the qualities too, I guess as part of what I’m responding to here, as what are the qualities you can bring to like your hiring process and your culture and tending to those, those, those parts which are equally as important.
Alexis: I really like your, your, your answer and setting the right expectations also for people. And I like what you say. That’s, that’s a good balance between that for people who can grow with the, the team or with, with the company. That’s celebrate what they brought to the [00:25:00] team.
And there, there’s, there’s people who don’t want to go in the, in the next stage. They, prefer really the, the infancy in the incubation mode, and they don’t want to go to the next stage. That’s not, that’s not. Maybe they could , but they don’t want,
so,
Ali: Yeah.
Alexis: so that’s okay. And and, and that’s great to, to affirm those people for that period of time.
What, whatever along there that was. how, how do you approach your own personal and professional development?
Ali: Yeah, so my, yeah, this is a great question. an ongoing process really of. Kind of discovery from, you know, within me, but also a commitment to being curious about what’s showing up for me and my work. I believe we need guides in this life. We can’t do this alone. got a great body worker. I’ve got a great therapist. I have a small herd of beautiful horses[00:26:00] where I get to go and decompress. I have great colleagues that I get to share my work with and They share their work with me. So there’s like this cross pollination that happens. And I have a very loving and wonderful partner with whom I’m lucky to share both life and work.
So that’s a’s a big part of, I think what supports me in, in my work. I live a pretty cloistered life on purpose. So that I can kind of hear my own voice clearly stay attuned to what’s emerging within me and within the world And, you know, that quiet life really ensures that I have the resources that I need to do the work that I do with my clients. So, yeah.
Alexis: Okay. Excellent. Are there any books, mentors, [00:27:00] experiences that have profoundly impacted your, your style, your leadership style, or your way of doing your work?
Ali: Yeah, there’s probably too many books to mention. But I’ll say that it’s probably been informed by three things that are really important to me, and that is deep ecology, you know, this belief that the world in order to really amend the climate crisis or the ecological disaster that is kind of impending in the world we really need to tune into a shift in consciousness, which, helps people like awaken into self-actualization versus less woke, less aware way of being in the world. Right? So I’m a deep ecologist at heart it’s kind of cloaked, I would say, in, in all of my work at Reboot. It’s, I don’t speak about it that directly most of the time, but [00:28:00] I mean, for me it’s, it’s right there every day. say another practice that’s really informed, the work that I do is art. I’ve been an artist for my whole life. I’m not formally trained, nor do I think you need formal training to really be an artist. Same with leadership in many respects. but there’s something about, for me, the the practice of art where you are alone with your, with yourself and this idea or you in a blank page or a blank canvas, and it’s like, what am I gonna.
Bring to this. And it’s much less about what am I going to be creating? And it’s more about how am I with that creative force, that’s arising in me and how do I trust my, in my intuition and my instincts? And what then comes out of that? And how do I work with, you know, what’s in front of me? I think there’s, I don’t know, something about beauty and truth in that whole process. And it’s really personal and it’s really [00:29:00] intimate, but I think it’s, I think it’s key to leadership. And then hands down I would say horses are, have definitely impacted, my beliefs about leadership and probably my leadership style and. It’s a, it’s, there’s so much there for me in the, in the horse aspect, like I can’t even talk about it.
I just start crying. but there’s something about learning to be in relationship with another being that is not a power over relationship really. It’s power with, that’s, I mean, that goes a long way into anybody’s, you know, leadership or management roles. But for me, in my small herd of beautiful horses, it’s, you know, they, they don’t put up with anything really other than the best me, the most authentic. Me that I bring forward. And so for me, every, every moment spent in the barn is I’m not gonna knock my therapist ’cause I love [00:30:00] her. She’s fantastic But it’s there, it’s, it’s it’s immediate feedback in the sense that if I am off base or if I am not owning some state of mind, or I’m bringing some really grumpy state of mind into the interaction with them, like they know it and they’re like, You don’t feel great about yourself right now. Why should I feel really great about you? Or know, it’s, you know, they demand really the best of us in order to really have a good relationship with them, you know, harmonious. And it’s a, it’s a really wonderful, Attunement practice. probably three totally like outta left field answers, but they are, they’re, they’re the three cornerstones for me.
Alexis: That’s, that’s absolutely perfect. You, you brought me back many years. when we, we had horses at, at home and when you, when you spoke about that, that brought me with the, I was a small kid, so I, I was [00:31:00] small. When I was approaching the horses, they were always, trying to, to, to smell and and so through the nose and you, you approach your head close to their nose and they don’t move and they, they they smell slowly and it’s, and it’s warm and it’s, and it’s and you feel something is happening. And that’s, that brought that memory to my mind.
Ali: Yeah. Well, it’s such a, well, I’m really glad you brought up that, that memory, because I mean, I think if the horse industry really needed, to convert people into the horse industry, all you need is to just have a horse blowing on your face or your hand or something, and it, there’s something, there’s something really potent about that you’re hooked at me.
Anyway. Totally hooked. Yeah.
Alexis: Yeah. Oh yes. Oh yes. That’s.[00:32:00]
Let’s take a, a look at what will happen in the future. Let’s take our crystal ball . How do you see the landscape of leadership coaching and organizational development all those things changing during the next five to 10 years?
Ali: Yeah. I think the trajectory of the last five years has been important just to look back a little bit cause it put the emphasis. On the importance of leadership development within any startup or any organization. I sense that’s gonna continue. You know, there was a time when it was a hard sell to get an executive coach or bring in. L and d work, and now it’s just the norm. It’s kind of a norm, especially kind of in companies like startup companies that have been funded and other organizations too, and in other, [00:33:00] other verticals and other industries, not just tech. Which is really great to see because, you know, now that these like coaching and l and d are, are part of, you know, budgets and budgeting, they’re seeing the impact as well. I think because the payoff of those line items are so great for the individuals and the teams and then the organization and business as a whole. You know, I suspect that we’ll continue. I, the thing is like, we’re. Work is a very peopley place. Work is a very human place. Right. I really don’t think AI is gonna shift that too much. I mean, there are still gonna be humans doing human work and, humans need tending to, and those humans that are working in relational spaces need tending to, whether it’s their teammates or their customers or the service that they’re providing. So, I mean, I would, I would hope, I guess If I look into that crystal ball, it’s that the, the landscape of [00:34:00] l and d or the landscape of leadership coaching will just become more human, more and more human.
Alexis: I love it. And you guessed that my question was also connected with AI because it seems everything is related to AI nowadays.
Ali: I know. Yeah.
Yeah.
Alexis: I love your answer. That’s that’s reassuring . Mm-Hmm.
I’ve heard a lot of people thinking they will solve everything with a little bit of ai.
Interesting problem can, can be solved that yeah, I would love us to use the time that we gain to engage in more meaningful relationship Yeah, well said.
hope for that.
Ali: said.
Alexis: So what, what’s next for, for reboot? Any, any exciting projects or initiative you, you can share with us?
Ali: We’ve kind of got a lot of ideas in the hopper but I think [00:35:00] the big, the big and Easily ready to share. Tidbit is Jerry’s second book launches tomorrow. So you can find it on bookshelves everywhere for real, not just in pre-order. So we’re excited, we’re excited to see how, how that emerges. Tomorrow we were kind of aiming for some bestseller lists with a lot of presale efforts. But you know, the book industry is a really crazy space. So we’ll see what happens,
Alexis: Yeah.
Ali: other than that, you know I’d just say watch this space carefully for any projects and expansions. But you can count on us to continue to provide. Meaningful and helpful content as a corollary to the services we provide. And the newsletter, our new newsletter is always a great place to dive into what we’re currently doing and kind of what’s coming up in the next like months, in what might be emerging. I [00:36:00] don’t know, in the next year or so.
Alexis: I definitely will put links in in the companion blog post to make sure that people can find those resources in the, the newsletter and so on. And and the book, of that’s that’s cool. That reminds me that I did not prior order. I will. So that’s good. I will order now. So thank you very much for, for joining Ali.
That was really fantastic.
Ali: Oh yeah. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.
Ever struggled with breaking the ice in meetings with new colleagues or clients? I’m excited to share a unique approach from our book, “I am a Software Engineer and I am in Charge,” that transforms these encounters.
🎯 Introducing: Discovery One-on-One
🤔 What Is It?
This is a structured yet flexible approach to prepare and drive effective meetings with people you’re not yet familiar with.
🌟 Why Use It?
Building a strong relationship is crucial for effective collaboration. This method ensures that your first meeting lays a solid foundation for future interactions.
👣 How It Works
1️⃣ Prepare Your Board: Create a simple board with three columns: To Do, In Progress, Done.
2️⃣ Set the Agenda: Use sticky notes for each topic: Ice Breaker, Professional Background, Experience, 3 Wishes, and a wild card (???).
3️⃣ Ice Breaker: Start with light, engaging questions to ease into the meeting.
4️⃣ Share Backgrounds: Discuss your professional journeys.
5️⃣ Discuss Relevant Experiences: Tailor this part to your specific context.
6️⃣ 3 Wishes: End with a creative question about transforming work or the workplace.
7️⃣ Wild Card: Allow space for any additional topics they might want to discuss.
📝 Note: This approach is adaptable. Feel free to tailor it to suit the context of your meeting.
🔄 Why It Matters
First impressions count. A Discovery One-on-One ensures your first meeting is not just productive but also enjoyable, setting the stage for a great working relationship.
📚 Curious to learn more? This is just one of the many practices we delve into. Check out the experiment: Discovery One-on-one.
👇 Have you tried a structured approach in your one-on-ones? How did it go? Share your experiences!
At the recent Agile Tour Bordeaux conference, attendees had a unique opportunity on Friday afternoon: a segment dedicated solely to exploring ideas through open space technology. Within this dynamic framework, I had the privilege of conducting a workshop that probed the nature of leadership. The high participation and engagement from attendees made this discussion exceptionally enriching.
What is Leadership?
Our session began with a straightforward question: “What is leadership?” Participants around the table shared their perspectives, leading to a myriad of words and phrases, such as “Action,” “Vision,” “Authenticity,” “Inspiration,” and “Curiosity.” As we revisited these initial descriptors, we added depth and texture. Words highlighted in green on our workshop sheet further clarified and enriched our initial understanding.
Creating Conditions for Emergent Leadership
A prominent theme that emerged was that of emergent leadership. Instead of appointing leaders based on traditional criteria or hierarchies, emergent leadership is about crafting conditions for leadership traits to manifest organically. Such environments, characterized by trust, autonomy, and collaboration, enable individuals to shine, exhibiting leadership qualities that may go unnoticed in more structured settings.
Developing Leadership Skills: A Continuous Journey
When we surfaced how to develop our leadership skills, there was a consensus: practice and aiding others are paramount. This sentiment strongly resonated with the Agile Manifesto’s opening lines, “We are uncovering better ways of developing software by doing it and helping others do it.” Given that we were at an Agile event, this alignment was fitting and heartening.
Leadership: An Invitation, Not an Obligation
Leadership, as we discussed, is an invitation, not an imposition. While the allure of leadership might be strong for many, it’s paramount to recognize it as a choice. Some might opt not to embrace leadership roles, and that is perfectly valid. True leadership acknowledges individual preferences, understanding that everyone carves their unique path.
Gratitude and Reflections
I want to express my deep gratitude to the organizers of Agile Tour Bordeaux. Attending the event as a participant was a refreshing and enlightening experience. The seamless organization, the diversity of ideas, and the vibrancy of discussions were truly commendable.
Conclusion
The Agile Tour Bordeaux was more than just a conference; it was a journey of discovery and introspection. Our leadership workshop, nestled within the open space segment, bore testament to the eclectic mix of ideas and perspectives present. Leadership, as we discerned, transcends titles or authority; it’s about fostering environments where everyone can step up, lead, and make a lasting impact.
📣 Have you ever wondered how some companies manage to preserve their culture while expanding on a global scale?
🔗 I came across an insightful article that delves into this very question, looking at how Canva—yes, the design platform we all love—has successfully maintained a unified culture while spanning across continents.
🌟 Key Takeaways: 1️⃣ Culture isn’t just an ‘HR Thing’: Canva places culture at the core of their acquisition strategy, ensuring both product and team alignment. 2️⃣ Autonomy & Integration: Canva adopts a thoughtful approach to incorporating new teams, allowing for strategic autonomy and gradual integration. 3️⃣ The Role of Physical Spaces: Whether it’s a co-working space or a campus, the choice of workspace reflects and nurtures the company culture. 4️⃣ Connection Beyond Proximity: Canva’s transition to remote work during the pandemic led to creative strategies, like “sacred lunch hours,” to keep the company culture alive.
🤔 These insights could be particularly relevant for startups and scaling businesses looking to maintain their core values while expanding. And yes, it’s directly linked to the quality of leadership at all levels.
✅ As we are working on launching a leadership development program designed to serve everyone regardless of their role, understanding the dynamics of culture is more critical than ever.
💬 Would love to hear your thoughts! How important is organizational culture in your leadership journey?
Navigating the bustling corridors of a 300-strong cloud infrastructure team, I witnessed firsthand the complexities and challenges of a large-scale software development setup. The traditional organization with its neatly partitioned functions – product management, software engineering, quality assurance, and the like – seemed efficient on paper, but it was far from optimal.
We brought together leaders from all functions to form a leadership team in a transformative move. With shared goals as our north star, we dreamt of a novel organization model: small cross-functional teams, each dedicated to delivering a distinct section of our product. These weren’t just any teams. Imagine having a dedicated team for ‘compute,’ another for ‘storage,’ and yet another for ‘networking.’ (Yes, the reality was a bit more complex than that!)
To bridge the gap between our product managers and the teams, we introduced the ‘User Advocate,’ responsible for ensuring clarity in the team’s direction. Alongside them, we introduced the ‘Team Catalyst,’ a role committed to fostering collaboration among team members.
However, our forward-looking vision encountered unexpected pushback, predominantly from the intermediate managers. They felt threatened, viewing their roles as narrowly confined to execution. This pivotal insight sparked my epiphany, leading to the creation of the BEPS navigator. It was designed to guide their transition towards a more encompassing, servant-leadership stance. Let’s delve deeper:
Business: It’s more than profit and loss sheets or market dynamics. It’s about comprehending the realm within which the organization functions within. Leaders should discern why their products or services exist in the first place and be able to articulate a clear and compelling vision.
Execution: While execution remains a critical facet, it’s not the sole responsibility. Leaders are not just schedulers or task distributors. They are the driving force ensuring the team delivers effectively.
People: Leaders wear multiple hats – they hire, they nurture, they manage performance. But above all, they invest in self-improvement, knowing that leadership is an ever-evolving journey.
System: W. Edwards Deming‘s words ring especially true here: “A Bad System Will Beat a Good Person Every Time.” Understanding the intertwined network of people, processes, tools, and organizations is vital. But leaders also hold the torch to illuminate and obliterate obstacles, ensuring their teams can function seamlessly.
Amidst apprehensions and pushbacks, our leadership team clung to these axes, or as we initially called it, “the axes.” The shift was transformational. Our teams moved faster, silos crumbled, and products reached customers quicker.
However, transitions are rarely smooth. Some managers couldn’t align with the new vision, some engineers misjudged the roles of User Advocate and Team Catalyst. But with every hiccup, the navigator provided a guiding light.
In subsequent roles, I wielded the BEPS navigator in coaching and mentoring, helping leaders discern underexplored areas of their roles. Its simplicity is its brilliance – four overarching categories that can be tailored and deepened based on context. It’s not a tool for benchmarking or comparison but a mirror for introspection. Remember, balancing the axes doesn’t mean equal emphasis on all; it’s about investing energy where it’s most needed at a given time.
The anecdote of managers fearing obsolescence in the face of transformation underscores a vital lesson. Leadership is not about controlling a system but understanding and molding it, ensuring everyone within can flourish.
The term “startup culture” is often thrown around in the business world, conjuring images of casual dress codes, open office spaces, and a relentless drive for innovation. However, after delving into the operations of various startups, like Freetrade, it becomes evident that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all “startup culture.” Instead, the culture of a startup is what its founders make of it. If they’re intentional, they can craft a unique, thriving environment. If not, they risk falling into the trap of replicating the corporate world they once sought to disrupt.
The Illusion of a Unified Startup Culture
Drawing from the Freetrade example in the Raconteur’s article, it’s clear that startup culture is not about pool tables or artisan coffee counters. It’s about the values, beliefs, and practices the founders and early team members embed into the company’s DNA. For instance, Freetrade’s CEO, Adam Dodds, emphasizes comfort and output over strict dress codes, reflecting his belief in prioritizing employee well-being and productivity over superficial norms.
The Risk of Unintentionality
Startups that don’t intentionally define their culture face a significant risk. As they grow and bring in experienced professionals from various backgrounds, especially from large corporations, they might find themselves in an environment lacking clear cultural direction. Their natural inclination would be to implement what they know best, often importing practices from the corporate world. While these practices might be efficient, they might not always align with the startup’s original vision or values.
Intentionality in Crafting Culture
Being intentional about company culture means actively defining and nurturing the values you want your startup to embody. It’s about creating an environment where every team member understands and aligns with the company’s values, from the newest intern to the most seasoned professional.
When founders are clear about their startup’s culture and values, they can collaborate more effectively with experienced professionals. Instead of allowing a “copy-paste” approach from the corporate world, they can guide these professionals to implement practices that resonate with the startup’s ethos. This synergy can lead to innovative solutions that combine startups’ agility with established corporations’ expertise.
Conclusion
While there’s no monolithic “startup culture,” founders have the power to shape their startups’ culture actively. By being intentional about their values and guiding principles, they can ensure that their company remains true to its vision, even as it grows and evolves. As startups like Freetrade have shown, when culture is approached intentionally, it becomes a powerful tool for innovation, growth, and long-term success.
In the ever-evolving business world, it’s not uncommon to come across companies claiming to be ‘innovative’ or ‘disruptive.’ However, occasionally, you stumble upon a gem that embodies these terms. One such company is Clarasys, a consulting firm that has taken a bold leap from its traditional roots to become a beacon of innovation.
The Journey from Classic to Cutting-Edge
The consulting industry, known for its rigid structures and hierarchical models, has seen little change over the decades. But Clarasys, with its forward-thinking approach, has decided to challenge the status quo. As highlighted by Corporate Rebels, their transformation journey is nothing short of inspiring.
The 8 Progressive Principles: A New Blueprint for Business
What truly sets Clarasys apart is its commitment to eight progressive principles. With 200 people and operations in the US and the UK, they have proof of the validity of their principles. These aren’t just fancy buzzwords; they represent a profound shift in how businesses can operate in the modern age:
Team of teams: By promoting networks of teams, Clarasys fosters agility, speed, and engagement. This structure enhances responsibility and cultivates a deeper sense of belonging among employees.
Purpose over profit: While profitability is essential, Clarasys emphasizes building a workplace centered around a shared purpose and values.
Distributed authority: By decentralizing decision-making, the company ensures that those make decisions with the most relevant knowledge and understanding.
Freedom & trust: Clarasys believes in treating its employees as responsible adults, granting them autonomy, and trusting them to deliver.
Radical transparency: In an age where information is power, Clarasys champions a culture of openness, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
Talents over titles: Rather than being confined by job descriptions, employees are encouraged to work based on their strengths, talents, and passions.
Servant leadership: Leaders at Clarasys support and uplift those on the front lines, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment.
Experiment & adapt: In a dynamic world, the company values real-time learning over rigid predictions, ensuring they remain at the forefront of industry changes.
Final Thoughts
The transformation of Clarasys serves as a testament to what’s possible when businesses dare to think differently. Their journey from a classic consultancy to an innovative powerhouse offers valuable insights for companies and leaders looking to navigate the challenges of the 21st century.
As we move forward, it’s essential to ask ourselves: Are we merely adhering to age-old practices, or are we brave enough to redefine the rules of the game? The choice, as always, is ours.
We all know the importance of building strong relationships and effective communication skills. Do we?
One of the best resources to learn these skills is Dale Carnegie’s classic book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Originally published in 1936, this book has remained popular for decades because the principles it outlines are timeless and effective. I referenced some of the principles in this older post about Radical Candor.
In this blog post, I’ll outline all the principles from the book and explain how they can help you become a better communicator, build stronger relationships, and achieve your goals.
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
The first principle in the book is to avoid criticizing, condemning, or complaining about others. According to Carnegie, this is one of the quickest ways to create resentment and push people away. He says: “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” Instead, he recommends focusing on the positive and addressing problems constructively. For example, if you have a complaint, try to frame it as a suggestion for improvement rather than a criticism.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
The second principle is to give honest and sincere appreciation to others. Carnegie explains that people crave recognition and praise, and giving it to them can help build positive relationships. However, it’s important to be genuine in your praise and avoid flattery or insincere compliments.
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want
The third principle is to understand the other person’s perspective and show them how your ideas can help them achieve their goals. Carnegie explains that people are often motivated by their own self-interest, and by showing them how your ideas can help them, you can persuade them more effectively.
Principle 4: Become genuinely interested in other people
The fourth principle is to show a sincere interest in others and listen attentively to what they have to say. According to Carnegie, people are more likely to be receptive to your ideas if they feel that you genuinely care about them and understand their perspective.
Principle 5: Smile
The fifth principle is simple but effective: smile. Carnegie explains that a smile can go a long way in making others feel at ease and building a positive relationship. This is especially important in the business world, where first impressions can make a big difference.
Principle 6: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
The sixth principle is to use a person’s name when communicating with them. According to Carnegie, a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language, and using it can help make them feel valued and important.
Principle 7: Be a good listener
The seventh principle is to be a good listener. Carnegie explains that listening to others and showing that you understand their perspective can help build trust and rapport. By actively listening and asking questions, you can show interest in the other person and their ideas.
Principle 8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
The eighth principle is to show how your ideas or suggestions can benefit the other person and their interests. By framing your ideas in a relevant way to the other person, you can make them more receptive and interested in what you have to say.
Principle 9: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely
The ninth principle is to show genuine interest and concern for others and make them feel valued and appreciated. Carnegie explains that people are more likely to be receptive to your ideas if they feel that you genuinely care about them and their well-being.
Principle 10: Avoid arguments
The final principle is to avoid arguments. Instead of arguing, try to find common ground and work towards a mutually beneficial solution. As Carnegie notes, “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.”
These ten principles may seem simple, but they can profoundly impact how you interact with others and how they perceive you. By implementing these principles, you can become a more effective communicator, build stronger relationships, and achieve your goals.
Feb 23 edit!
I created that post using my reading notes from a long time ago. And as I recommended the book to a few people, I re-read it. When I did, I was surprised that my notes were incomplete. I stopped at ten principles, but there are a lot more!
I believe I had the feeling that they were a bit repetitive. Is it a question or a justification? I don’t know.
For reference, here are all the principles from the book!
The book is structured in four parts, with principles in each parts:
Part One – Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two – Six ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three – How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
In the first episode, Jared Kleinert, the CEO, and co-founder of Offsite and the founder of Meeting of the Minds, discusses the importance of meeting in person in the future of work, the process and considerations for organizing offsites, the role of facilitation in building and deepening relationships. He also provides hiring advice from a serial entrepreneur.
The second episode features Laurence Duarte, a global management consultant who helps businesses protect and grow their reputation. The episode discusses the concept of reputation, its importance for a company, reputational risks, and steps for managing those risks. Laurence also discusses the importance of building a shield to protect against reputational risks and the critical trait of a leader.
In the third episode, Jurgen Appelo, a serial founder, successful entrepreneur, author, and speaker known for pioneering management practices to help creative organizations succeed in the 21st century, discusses his work on agility, innovation, and leadership, and provides insights on how to foster innovation in organizations and develop oneself as a leader.
The fourth episode features Ashley Freeman, a writer, facilitator, and coach. The episode covers Ashley’s work creating Flourishing Work and discusses topics such as developing a personal brand, building trust, the importance of continuous learning through book discussion clubs, and the essential traits of a leader.
The fifth episode features Philippe Coullomb and Charles Collingwood-Boots, who design processes for bringing individuals together to collaborate and solve complex problems. The episode discusses the factors that are important when bringing people together to work on complex issues, the role of facilitation in successful collaboration, the importance of context setting and engaging sponsors in collaboration efforts, the challenges and differences between hybrid and virtual collaboration, and the importance of the physical space for enabling successful collaboration.
The sixth episode features Joseph Jacks, the founder and General Partner of OSS Capital, a fund that focuses on investing in early-stage commercial open-source companies. The episode discusses the benefits of investing in open-source projects and companies, the motivations of people who contribute to open-source projects, and the importance of a key leadership trait in the open-source world.
In the final episode of the season, the BEPS framework is introduced as a tool for understanding a leader’s different roles and responsibilities and focusing on key areas for success. The BEPS framework consists of four axes: Business, Execution, People, and System. OpenAI interviews Alexis Monville, the creator of the BEPS framework.
I spoke at Lean Kanban France, the ancestor of Flowcon, ten years ago. A big thank you to the organizers who invited me to speak again at the celebratory edition. I first said no to avoid another travel, and then finally accepted as I was pitching for Red Hat at a public sector event in Paris the next day.
I also want to thank the Agile Tour Bordeaux organizers, who invited me to deliver a keynote address the following week.
I planned to discuss change and, more specifically, how to change on both occasions.
Can we change?
To build on the shoulder of giants, I chose to use Robert Kegan‘s model of adult development. I also used learnings from his book, Immunity to Change.
I represented Kegan’s model as concentric circles in the first talk to better demonstrate that all stages of consciousness are always present within us and that we can behave as our 2-year-old sometimes.
As George Box said, all models are wrong, but some are useful. Kegan’s model is helpful for two reasons.
The first one is that too many people still envision development as happening from infancy to childhood, from childhood to adolescence and that once we reach adulthood, it is all downhill.
The second one is how we go from one stage to the next. From subject to object. For example, we start being the subject of our perceptions, and then in the next stage, perceptions are objects we can reflect upon and use. We have perceptions.
At each stage of our development, we can handle more complexity. We improve our ability to make meaning of the world.
All models are wrong, but some are useful
George Box
Once we established that we could still change and develop ourselves, we discussed the question of what to change or how to support our introspections with the help of others.
What to change?
We have to seek the perspectives of those close to us, managers, peers, teammates, and life partners, to narrow down on what is the one thing to change.
We can send a 360 feedback survey to our peers and teammates to learn what we could start, stop, or continue to increase your impact.
Of course, those are only biased opinions, and we will still need to decide what to change. Check with someone close to us that our choice makes sense to them. Always surprising to realize they already knew something you were not.
What prevents us from changing?
It is not about willpower. We know what to change. We commit, and still, it seems impossible.
Robert Kegan explains that we develop a sort of immunity to change. Our immunity to change takes the form of hidden commitments that prevail on our newly made commitments.
Until we reveal those hidden commitments, change is impossible.
For the second talk, I represented the stages linearly and mapped the adult population to the stages. The two on the right are reached in the second part of life, when reached.
How to reveal the hidden commitments?
First, it is about listing all our behaviors and circumstances going against our goal. Let’s use a simple example: smoking or not smoking. A behavior could be picking a cigarette. The circumstances are critical: when I am alone and bored, I want to focus, I am relaxed, I enter or exit a place, I am with people, and so on.
Once you have the behaviors and circumstances, you can reflect on how you would feel if you were not doing those things in those circumstances. What are your fears? Or what is the advantage of not changing?
One of my former managers always added his two cents in all conversations. I tried to explain how it was demoralizing to people that he did not even listen to what they had to present before sharing his opinion or making a decision. It had close to no effect.
I tried the approach of inquiring about his fears. It fits in a sentence, but the process took quite some time. His answer: “If I am not adding value, people will think I am useless.”
By revealing that fear, it gave us the opportunity for a fantastic conversation. I was even surprised that he nearly stopped that behavior entirely after that.
How to change?
The next thing is to define tactics for all the behaviors and circumstances. As our behaviors are hardwired to triggers and events, we need to be ready with a tactic when something pops up.
With our tactics ready, we can reflect daily on what happens, by ourselves or with an accountability partner. Benjamin Franklin picked one virtue to work on at the beginning of each 4-week cycle and then moved to the next one. In doing so, he could work four weeks a year on each of the 13 virtues.
Temperance. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Order. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
Industry. Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Justice. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Moderation. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation. Tranquillity. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
Humility. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
At the end of each day, he would reflect on how he did and mark his progress on the chart.
I wish you great and continued development. Please support the development of people around you so that together, we tackle humanity’s critical challenges today!
The Coaching Habit is a book by Michael Bungay Stanier (aka MBS). In telling you about the book, I feel I am giving away many of my secrets. But, yeap, they are not mine.
The subtitle is: “Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever.” It is just perfectly telling everything.
The book is for leaders. Leaders who are in a manager or an individual contributor role.
In seven questions, the author can cover everything that matters. Here they are:
1- The Kickstart Question: What’s on your mind? 2- The AWE Question: And what else? 3- The Focus Question: What’s the real challenge here for you? 4- The Foundation Question: What do you want? 5- The Lazy Question: How can I help? 6- The Strategic Question: If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to? 7- The Learning Question: What was most useful for you?
And that’s all!
Of course, that is not really all. It is just a summary, valuable only because I read the book and experimented with the power of the questions.
In the book, you will learn the rationale behind using the questions and develop your ability to be curious, which is the real secret.
