Something curious happened last week.
Three different people, from entirely different professional contexts, asked me the same question: “How do we actually create effective team agreements?”
It wasn’t just the synchronicity that struck me; it was the timing. It’s the start of the year, a season where we naturally audit what’s working and what’s causing friction. There seems to be a quiet, collective realization spreading across teams: We can’t keep working by accident.
From Assumption to Intention
Team agreements aren’t about rules or corporate control. They are about alignment. In the book I co-authored with Michael Doyle, I Am a Software Engineer and I Am in Charge, we describe these agreements as a living document, a shared understanding of our habits, expectations, and rhythms. It is the bridge that moves a team from assumption to intention.
We use the story of Sandrine to illustrate this. She starts her journey frustrated, feeling like her team is constantly out of sync. Her turning point comes when she stops waiting for things to change and realizes:
“How do they know what I need if I haven’t told them?”
By making her needs explicit, she helps the team do the same. That is the heartbeat of a team agreement: It begins with a conversation, not a process.
How to Start (or Restart) Your Agreements
If your team agreement is currently a forgotten doc in a wiki, or if you’ve never had one, here is how Michael and I suggest you breathe life into it:
- Start with Frustrations and Joys: Don’t start with a blank template. Ask the team: What has been draining your energy lately? What moments last month felt effortless? Use these stories to find where agreements are actually needed.
- Focus on “Moments That Matter:” Don’t try to legislate everything. Focus on high-friction touchpoints: How do we handle interrupts? When is it okay to say “no” to a meeting? What does “done” actually look like for us?
- Co-creation over Command-and-Control: An agreement handed down from a lead is just a rule. An agreement built by the group is a commitment. If people help build the house, they won’t want to burn it down.
- Review and Revise Often: Agreements should have an expiration date. Your team changes, so your agreements should too. Make them a recurring topic in your retrospectives.
A Tip from the Field
In my other book, Changing Your Team from the Inside, I explore how the simplest acts, like discussing how you prefer to receive feedback, can build immense trust. A team agreement is simply an invitation for everyone to say: “This is how I work best. How about you?”
Another Tip from the Field
I also love the way Isabel Monville approaches this. She often reframes the exercise by asking the team to look through the eyes of a newcomer: “What would a new team member need to know to be successful here? What is okay to do, and what is definitely not okay?” This shift in perspective makes the invisible “unwritten rules” visible, allowing the team to decide which ones are worth keeping and which ones are just bad habits.
Your Turn: A Small Experiment
Next time you’re in a team meeting, try asking just one question:
“What is one working agreement we could make today that would make our day-to-day easier?”
Pick one thing. Write it down. Try it for a week. Reflect. That is how agreements become culture.
Are you rethinking your team’s rhythms this year? I’d love to hear what’s working (or what’s driving you crazy). Let’s talk.
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