{"id":5487,"date":"2025-12-09T03:57:33","date_gmt":"2025-12-09T08:57:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/?p=5487"},"modified":"2025-12-09T03:57:33","modified_gmt":"2025-12-09T08:57:33","slug":"why-self-awareness-is-a-leaders-most-reliable-tool","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2025\/12\/09\/why-self-awareness-is-a-leaders-most-reliable-tool\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Self-Awareness Is a Leader\u2019s Most Reliable Tool"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In many leadership workshops, we introduce a simple idea that quickly becomes a powerful lens: the idea of <\/strong>the line<\/strong><\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Above the line, we are open, curious, and ready to learn. Below the line, we are closed, protective, and trying to get through the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is easy to assume that one is good and the other is bad. But that is not the point at all. The point is simply to notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is something almost like a leadership version of the Heisenberg principle. We cannot predict with certainty whether someone will be above or below the line in a specific situation. We can guess. We can know habits, patterns, preferences. But we cannot know for sure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A difficult conversation, a stressful deadline, a sense of threat, a flash of insecurity, an unexpected constraint. Anyone can drop below the line. Likewise, the right environment, a supportive colleague, or a moment of clarity can shift someone above the line just as quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no moral judgment in this. There is only awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A big part of what pulls us below the line is our relationship with pain and uncertainty. Uncertainty carries the possibility of discomfort, disappointment, or loss, so our first instinct is often to avoid it. We try to control it, fix it, or eliminate it. This creates a kind of tension inside. We are not reacting to what is actually happening. We are reacting to the possibility of pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is why uncertainty can feel like a wave we want no part of. If we are below the line, the wave seems unpredictable and dangerous. We brace. We contract. We try to make the wave smaller or make ourselves smaller. The energy becomes something to resist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But above the line, uncertainty takes on a different meaning. Surfers know this well. A wave is not an enemy. It is a source of movement and energy. It is something to ride, not something to fear. When we stop trying to protect ourselves and start being willing to learn, the same uncertainty becomes possibility. It becomes play instead of pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friend John Poelstra<\/a><\/strong>, an executive coach based on the US West Coast whom I highly recommend, once offered a metaphor that may be even more helpful than surfing: dancing. Surfing is an individual sport. Dancing requires relationship. It requires sensing another person, adjusting moment by moment, and sharing leadership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a dance, the question is not Who is above or below the line?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The real question is How do we move together, given where each of us is right now?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dancing works only when there is responsiveness. And responsiveness begins with noticing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In teams, just like in dance, we cannot control whether people are above or below the line. But we can cultivate shared awareness. We can normalize the idea that both states are human. We can learn to pause. To breathe. To reconnect with intention instead of fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Above the line is not a superior state. Below the line is not a failure. Both are part of being human. The shift comes from recognizing where we are and choosing how we want to engage with the wave in front of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you think about your week ahead, here are a few questions to explore:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What signals tell you that you are dropping below the line?<\/strong> What helps you return above the line without forcing it?<\/strong> How do you react when someone else is below the line?<\/strong> What would change if you stopped trying to avoid pain and started working with uncertainty instead of fighting it?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would be happy to hear what you notice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In many leadership workshops, we introduce a simple idea that quickly becomes a powerful lens: the idea of the line. Above the line, we are open, curious, and ready to learn. Below the line, we are closed, protective, and trying to get through the moment. It is easy to assume that one is good and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5488,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/12\/allec-gomes-JOvEHA9PJMs-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1707%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paNjQG-1qv","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3405,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2020\/07\/27\/the-motive\/","url_meta":{"origin":5487,"position":0},"title":"The Motive","author":"Alexis","date":"July 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Why so many leaders abdicate their most important responsibilities? 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