{"id":5450,"date":"2025-10-20T02:52:52","date_gmt":"2025-10-20T06:52:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/?p=5450"},"modified":"2025-10-20T02:52:56","modified_gmt":"2025-10-20T06:52:56","slug":"what-are-your-values-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2025\/10\/20\/what-are-your-values-really\/","title":{"rendered":"What Are Your Values, Really?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We often talk about values as if they were things we already have. We list them in presentations, print them on posters, or mention them when asked about what matters most to us.<br>But if we look closer, our real values show up in what we do, especially when no one is watching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In&nbsp;<em>The Happiness Trap<\/em>, Russ Harris reminds us that values are not goals or traits, but directions.<br>They are not achievements to check off, but aspirations that guide how we live, lead, and make decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He offers a long list of possible values to help us reflect on who we want to be in different areas of life.<br>Here are a few examples that often resonate with leaders and teams:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Authentic<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 being genuine, real, and true to myself<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Courageous<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 persisting in the face of fear, threat, or risk<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Curious<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 being open-minded and willing to explore and discover<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Kind<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 being considerate and caring toward myself and others<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Mindful<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 fully present and engaged in what I am doing<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Responsible<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 being trustworthy, reliable, and accountable for my actions<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Supportive<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 being helpful and encouraging toward others<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>And this is only a glimpse. Harris\u2019s complete list contains 36 values, including accepting, adventurous, assertive, caring, compassionate, cooperative, creative, forgiving, grateful, helpful, honest, independent, industrious, loving, open, persistent, playful, protective, respectful, skillful, trustworthy, and many more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you read through them, which words describe how you want to show up in your work and life?<br>Which reflect the person you want to become?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Values are aspirational by nature. We never fully arrive. And that is the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Benjamin Franklin understood this very well. At the age of 20, he designed a personal system of&nbsp;<strong>13 virtues<\/strong>&nbsp;to guide his growth:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Temperance \u2013 Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Silence \u2013 Speak only what may benefit others or yourself.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Order \u2013 Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Resolution \u2013 Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Frugality \u2013 Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Industry \u2013 Lose no time; be always employed in something useful.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Sincerity \u2013 Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Justice \u2013 Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Moderation \u2013 Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries as much as you think they deserve.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cleanliness \u2013 Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Tranquility \u2013 Be not disturbed at trifles or at accidents common or unavoidable.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Chastity \u2013 Use physical pleasure with care for health and peace of mind.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Humility \u2013 Imitate Jesus and Socrates.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Franklin\u2019s system gave him the chance to practice each virtue four times per year. Every week, he focused on one of them, tracking his progress in a small notebook.<br>He did not expect perfection; he practiced awareness.<br>He later wrote that although he never achieved all his ideals, he became \u201ca better and happier man than I otherwise should have been.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe that is the heart of living our values: not perfection, but practice.<br>Not claiming them, but embodying them, one choice at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So here is a small exercise for this month:<br>&#x1f449; Pick one value that matters to you.<br>&#x1f449; Notice how it shows up (or doesn\u2019t) in your day.<br>&#x1f449; Ask yourself:&nbsp;<em>What would it look like to live one step closer to that value today?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We often talk about values as if they were things we already have. We list them in presentations, print them on posters, or mention them when asked about what matters most to us.But if we look closer, our real values show up in what we do, especially when no one is watching. In&nbsp;The Happiness Trap, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/10\/hanna-zhyhar-UI3qHlPDkz0-unsplash.jpg?fit=1920%2C1280&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paNjQG-1pU","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2331,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2016\/08\/05\/contribute-to-the-success-of-openstack\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":0},"title":"Contribute to the Success of OpenStack","author":"Alexis","date":"August 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"During the OpenStack Summit in Austin, Mark McLoughlin and I delivered a talk titled: \"Contribute to the Success of OpenStack\". Our talk was meant to explain how we were inspired by agile values and principles to improve our internal organization, and how we thought it could impact our ability to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/community-1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/community-1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/community-1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/community-1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/community-1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5497,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2026\/01\/08\/anger-is-not-the-problem\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":1},"title":"Anger is not the problem","author":"Alexis","date":"January 8, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Anger is one of those emotions we\u2019re taught to see as bad, unproductive, or destructive. We learn to calm down, to let it go, to avoid it. But what if that instinctive rejection of anger is actually making us less effective as leaders, as coaches, and as human beings? This\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/01\/curated-lifestyle-VKC0CMAhDtc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C824&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/01\/curated-lifestyle-VKC0CMAhDtc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C824&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/01\/curated-lifestyle-VKC0CMAhDtc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C824&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/01\/curated-lifestyle-VKC0CMAhDtc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C824&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/01\/curated-lifestyle-VKC0CMAhDtc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C824&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2342,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2016\/10\/12\/how-agile-and-open-source-work-together-in-nearly-perfect-harmony\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":2},"title":"How Agile and Open Source work together in (nearly) perfect harmony","author":"Alexis","date":"October 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"This article is based on the talk I gave for the Red Hat Agile Day in Raleigh on October 11, 2016. The conversation about agile and Open Source usually starts with an interruption in this form: Agile will not work in an Open Source context because\u2026 That\u2019s usually how a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/10\/Jason-Hibbets-Picture.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/10\/Jason-Hibbets-Picture.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/10\/Jason-Hibbets-Picture.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/10\/Jason-Hibbets-Picture.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/10\/Jason-Hibbets-Picture.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5656,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2026\/02\/12\/the-scaling-trap-when-more-communication-actually-slows-you-down\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":3},"title":"The Scaling Trap: When More Communication Actually Slows You Down","author":"Alexis","date":"February 12, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"We\u2019ve all been sold the same dream: \"Be Agile.\" We start with a small, scrappy team where everyone finishes each other's sentences, and the magic just happens. But then, success hits. You grow. Ten people become fifty. Fifty become five hundred. Suddenly, those \"individuals and interactions\" you valued so much\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/02\/Pearlside-Leadership-Slides-1-1.png?fit=960%2C540&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/02\/Pearlside-Leadership-Slides-1-1.png?fit=960%2C540&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/02\/Pearlside-Leadership-Slides-1-1.png?fit=960%2C540&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/02\/Pearlside-Leadership-Slides-1-1.png?fit=960%2C540&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3227,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2020\/03\/06\/how-do-we-communicate\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":4},"title":"How do we Communicate?","author":"Alexis","date":"March 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"How do we communicate is a really important question to ask when the team is up to define its Team Agreements. Valve, the game company published its Handbook for New Employees in 2012. The subtitle provides information on how their approach to communication will have to be different: A fearless\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/03\/Screenshot-from-2020-03-05-14-28-20.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/03\/Screenshot-from-2020-03-05-14-28-20.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/03\/Screenshot-from-2020-03-05-14-28-20.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/03\/Screenshot-from-2020-03-05-14-28-20.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4198,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2023\/08\/23\/the-myth-of-startup-culture\/","url_meta":{"origin":5450,"position":5},"title":"The Myth of &#8220;Startup Culture&#8221;","author":"Alexis","date":"August 23, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The term \"startup culture\" is often thrown around in the business world, conjuring images of casual dress codes, open office spaces, and a relentless drive for innovation. However, after delving into the operations of various startups, like Freetrade, it becomes evident that there isn't a one-size-fits-all \"startup culture.\" Instead, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/all\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Freetrade\u2019s co-founder and CEO Adam Dodds","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/08\/freetrade-CEO-Adam-Dodds-900x506-1.jpg?fit=900%2C506&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/08\/freetrade-CEO-Adam-Dodds-900x506-1.jpg?fit=900%2C506&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/08\/freetrade-CEO-Adam-Dodds-900x506-1.jpg?fit=900%2C506&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/08\/freetrade-CEO-Adam-Dodds-900x506-1.jpg?fit=900%2C506&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5450"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5450\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5452,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5450\/revisions\/5452"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}