{"id":392,"date":"2023-08-17T15:24:54","date_gmt":"2023-08-17T15:24:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iamincharge.club\/?page_id=392"},"modified":"2023-11-09T12:52:18","modified_gmt":"2023-11-09T17:52:18","slug":"practice-nonviolent-communication","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/books\/i-am-in-charge\/the-experiments\/practice-nonviolent-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Practice Nonviolent Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is it?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Marshall Rosenberg created Nonviolent Communication to help improve the quality of our relationships by transforming existing patterns of defensiveness and aggressiveness into compassion and empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\ufeff\ufeffThe Nonviolent Communication model has four components and two parts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\ufeff\ufeffThe four components are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Observation<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Feeling<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Needs<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Request<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The two parts are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Empathy<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Honesty<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The outline of the model goes like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I see that______________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I feel ______________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>because my need for ________________ is\/is not met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Would you be willing to __________________?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why use it?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The model supports your introspection and reflection of what is going on in the world around you. By practising Nonviolent Communication, you are more able to nurture the relationships with people around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Steps<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember a time and place where the conversation became really heated. For Alexis It was one reaction in a meeting, something he said, he did not necessarily know why, but he could see on the faces of other people that it was not helping. We will use this as an example for the different steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Observation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Take a step back and observe what happened,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When I see (hear\u2026)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Alexis: When I hear you speaking about the complexity of the work of a team that has no representative in the room, a team I was a member of before\u2026<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Now express how you feel, it can be an emotion or a sensation rather than a thought that is in relation to what you observe.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u2026 I feel\u2026<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Alexis: \u2026 I felt a rush of anger\u2026<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Needs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Now express what you need or value that cause your feelings.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u2026 Because I need\u2026<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Alexis: \u2026 Because I need people to be respected, I need their work to be respected, I need fairness and equity\u2026<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Requests<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Now you can formulate a request that would improve the relationship, without demanding, a concrete action that you would like to be taken.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u2026 Would you be willing to\u2026 ?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Alexis: \u2026 Would you be willing to invite representatives of that team so they can bring their own perspective on those issues so that we can all learn and improve?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You can expect that you won\u2019t get it right the first time, and that you\u2019ll need more than one iteration to make it good. Good being, an observation that is really an observation, a feeling that is really a feeling, and so on\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Working on this with a trusted peer could really help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Further Information<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/71730.Nonviolent_Communication\" target=\"_blank\">Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life<\/a>, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/71731.Nonviolent_Communication_Companion_Workbook\" target=\"_blank\">Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook: A Practical Guide for Individual, Group, or Classroom Study<\/a>, Lucy Leu. Also the workbook is on <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/issuu.com\/nonviolent\/docs\/nonviolent_communication_workbook\" target=\"_blank\">issuu.com<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is it? Marshall Rosenberg created Nonviolent Communication to help improve the quality of our relationships by transforming existing patterns of defensiveness and aggressiveness into compassion and empathy. \ufeff\ufeffThe Nonviolent Communication model has four components and two parts. \ufeff\ufeffThe four components are: The two parts are: The outline of the model goes like this: When [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4756,"parent":4536,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[956],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-392","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-experiment"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/PaNjQG-6k","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5402,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/emerging-leadership\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":0},"title":"Emerging Leadership","author":"Alexis","date":"July 24, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Emerging leadership is the intentional cultivation of an environment in which individuals naturally step forward, assume responsibility, and collaborate effectively to drive meaningful change. This approach moves away from traditional hierarchical leadership models, favoring a more fluid, open, and decentralized structure where leadership can be expressed by anyone within the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":292,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/books\/i-am-in-charge\/the-reviews\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":1},"title":"The reviews","author":"Alexis","date":"September 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605 An indispensable book to someone who appreciates working in a team and contributes to its success and also being satisfied by the impact made at work. While not being a long read, I already feel the need of getting this regular \"shot\" by reading again some chapters from time\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4288,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/le-podcast-on-emerging-leadership\/guests\/scott-amenta\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":2},"title":"Scott Amenta","author":"Alexis","date":"May 9, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Scott is a Community Builder, co-Founder of Sylva, Propel, and the Chief of Staff Network. Appears on Le Podcast on Emerging Leadership episode https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/2021\/01\/09\/community-and-leadership-with-scott-amenta\/ Recommended the book https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Without-Their-Permission-Century-Managed-ebook\/dp\/B00BAXFJ16?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=eln05-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=14fc2473a33fb59be411e60a8b5e96b1&camp=1789&creative=9325 Stay in Touch!","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Guests&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Guests","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/guest\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/11\/Scott-Amenta.jpeg?fit=500%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4616,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/books\/impact-mapping\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":3},"title":"Impact Mapping","author":"Alexis","date":"November 1, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Making a Big Impact with Software Products and Projects by Gojko Adzic Software is everywhere today, but countless software products and projects die a slow death without ever making any impact. The result is a tremendous amount of time and money wasted due to wrong assumptions, lack of focus, poor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Recommended Reads&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Recommended Reads","link":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/category\/recommended-reads\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4463,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/the-beps-framework\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":4},"title":"The Emerging Leadership Navigator","author":"Alexis","date":"September 16, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Whether you're a manager steering a team or an individual contributor leading from the front lines, the BEPS framework serves as a versatile tool for amplifying organizational effectiveness. Comprised of four critical axes\u2014Business, Execution, People, and System\u2014BEPS provides a balanced and integrated perspective on leadership. Vertical AxisBusiness and Execution The\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4320,"url":"https:\/\/blog-alexis.monville.com\/en\/le-podcast-on-emerging-leadership\/guests\/emilien-macchi\/","url_meta":{"origin":392,"position":5},"title":"Emilien Macchi","author":"Alexis","date":"May 10, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"French and Canadian citizen; I work for Red Hat (which is part of IBM) in the OpenStack Engineering organization. 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