What Are Your Values, Really?

We often talk about values as if they were things we already have. We list them in presentations, print them on posters, or mention them when asked about what matters most to us.
But if we look closer, our real values show up in what we do, especially when no one is watching.

In The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris reminds us that values are not goals or traits, but directions.
They are not achievements to check off, but aspirations that guide how we live, lead, and make decisions.

He offers a long list of possible values to help us reflect on who we want to be in different areas of life.
Here are a few examples that often resonate with leaders and teams:

• Authentic – being genuine, real, and true to myself
• Courageous – persisting in the face of fear, threat, or risk
• Curious – being open-minded and willing to explore and discover
• Kind – being considerate and caring toward myself and others
• Mindful – fully present and engaged in what I am doing
• Responsible – being trustworthy, reliable, and accountable for my actions
• Supportive – being helpful and encouraging toward others

And this is only a glimpse. Harris’s complete list contains 36 values, including accepting, adventurous, assertive, caring, compassionate, cooperative, creative, forgiving, grateful, helpful, honest, independent, industrious, loving, open, persistent, playful, protective, respectful, skillful, trustworthy, and many more.

When you read through them, which words describe how you want to show up in your work and life?
Which reflect the person you want to become?

Values are aspirational by nature. We never fully arrive. And that is the point.

Benjamin Franklin understood this very well. At the age of 20, he designed a personal system of 13 virtues to guide his growth:

1. Temperance – Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. Silence – Speak only what may benefit others or yourself.
3. Order – Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution – Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality – Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.
6. Industry – Lose no time; be always employed in something useful.
7. Sincerity – Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice – Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation – Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries as much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness – Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
11. Tranquility – Be not disturbed at trifles or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. Chastity – Use physical pleasure with care for health and peace of mind.
13. Humility – Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Franklin’s system gave him the chance to practice each virtue four times per year. Every week, he focused on one of them, tracking his progress in a small notebook.
He did not expect perfection; he practiced awareness.
He later wrote that although he never achieved all his ideals, he became “a better and happier man than I otherwise should have been.”

Maybe that is the heart of living our values: not perfection, but practice.
Not claiming them, but embodying them, one choice at a time.

So here is a small exercise for this month:
👉 Pick one value that matters to you.
👉 Notice how it shows up (or doesn’t) in your day.
👉 Ask yourself: What would it look like to live one step closer to that value today?